Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Nothing Is New Under The Sun

A couple little books that have often occupied my nightstand (my dusty nightstand) for at least twenty years or more are Colin McEvedy’s history atlases, published by Penguin Books. I have read (and often re-read -- I have trouble retaining information, it seems) these brief summaries of Western history accompanied by simple maps that help to illustrate the constantly shifting geopolitical jigsaw puzzle of Europe from the Stone Age to the times of Napoleon. 

Every so often reading about the complicated history of Europe, I run across a passage describing long-forgotten leaders or world events that, well, seem to resonate with  leaders and world events of 2019. 

Here is one such passage from McEvedy’s “The Penguin Atlas of Modern History” describing Louis XI, King of France from 1461 – 1483. 

“Because he was both treacherous and successful, his admirers have called him Machiavellian, but his intellectual abilities were strictly limited, his natural impulsiveness poorly controlled and his qualities, good and bad, really those of a peasant. His strongest suit was tenacity, and the only modern quality of this otherwise credulous mind was a recognition that money was the measure of power.” 

Sound familiar? I highlighted the parts that reminded me of the current, and thankfully momentary, leader of the US. Notice, I didn’t highlight “successful”. 

Another such passage concerns Nero, the last of the Julio-Claudian dynasty of Roman emperors. Nero’s reign (AD 54 - 68) suffered from thorny conflicts in Britain and Palestine and a disastrous fire in Rome (the folk-legend of which has Nero blithely fiddling away while the flames raged). But, apparently, beyond these calamities Nero had personal shortcomings that meant he was not up to the job of Emperor. 

“His position," according to McEvedy, "required of him little more than the appearance of gravity, yet this was a role that Nero, the self-declared actor, was never able to sustain.” Again, sound familiar? 

After various missteps of mismanagement by Nero, the Roman governor of Spain had had enough and marched on Rome. With the tide turning against him, even his Praetorian Guards would not defend Nero, and he had no choice but to die, in McEvedy’s words, “by his own shaky hand”.  

Of course, throughout history, violence has often been the method of unseating unsuitable and unpopular rulers. The Founding Fathers of the United States, throwing off the legacy of undemocratic monarchies, devised a more civilized and humane way of replacing such leaders who are, without question, wholly corrupt and unfit for their high office. And that method is impeachment. 

I’m beginning to wonder, why on Earth, are we not using that civilized and humane method today? 

Friday, July 19, 2019

Swearing by Trump

An interesting little detail from Donald Trump’s rally in Greenville was the fact that during his speech, Trump twice said the word “goddamn”. 

That may not seem like a big deal, but in the Southern Baptist household I grew up in, one of the worse things you do was take the Lord’s name in vain. I remember as a boy admonishing a friend who had said “Goddamn”, telling him that he would go to hell talking that way. Once a family member called me out for saying “Mein Gott” (“My God” in German – I was showing off.) This was long before “Oh my God” became such a ubiquitous expression that no one bats an eye. OMG.

Anyway, surely most presidents have used “goddamn” frequently enough, at least in private. They are, after all, men of the world. There are tapes of Nixon doing so. LBJ for sure. Obama likely. Jimmy Carter might be the only exception. I can’t imagine him doing it. 

But Trump is no doubt the first US president to utter that blasphemous word in public. You can be sure Obama never did. And if you ask me, it’s about goddamn time. Trump is just talking the way grown people talk, saying what he thinks, no holds barred. He's not afraid to tell it like it is, without worrying about offending someone’s tender sensitivities. Just imagine politically correct Obama throwing out a "goddamn" here and a "goddamn" there! No goddamned way!

As someone who says goddamnit a lot myself, I find it refreshing that Trump has now, in a sense, given license for the rest of us to feel comfortable enough swearing in public. I’m sure all his followers, from Franklin Graham to Lindsey Graham (and any other Grahams in between), fully agree. Goddamn right!

Saturday, July 6, 2019

Man the air, ram the ramparts, take the airports!

This is the most memorable thing I've heard about Trump's "Salute to America" show on Independence Day (other than the fact that Melania was wearing a white dress without a bra, which became see-through in the rain -- well, at least it had sleeves, unlike that slut Michelle, am I right? 

The rain caused the teleprompter to malfunction and the text of Trump's speech momentarily to disappeared. Apparently, it was at this point that Trump was talking about the tenacious nature of George Washington's Continental Army during the Revolutionary War. During those troubling times, the Army -- Trump told his drenched audience, eager to learn from their president -- "manned the air, it rammed the ramparts, it took over the airports, it did everything it had to do." Rammed the ramparts? Rammed them with what? 

So, because he couldn't see his prepared text, Trump just had to dip into his knowledge of military history and speak off the cuff. About airports. In the 1770s. Except they didn't exist. Surely, he was confusing this war with a different one (most American high schooler no doubt do the same thing, mix up Iwo Jima with Valley Forge, etc). 

Without the teleprompter, Trump went off script. Except. Except, he didn't. Probably remembering how he has blasted Obama in the past as a sissy for relying on teleprompters, Trump quickly assured his people, his AMERICAN people, that HE didn't really need the teleprompter anyway and that HE knew the speech "very well".and was able to do it without a teleprompter. 

Which must mean that Trump --- with his flawless memory -- correctly recited the speech from heart, including the line about the airfields that the colonials defended against the Redcoats. Which means that WAS part of his prepared remarks. Which means it must be true. Because he said it. 

Could there possibly be any other explanation? Any?

Friday, May 31, 2019

Obstruction of Logic

We’ve now all seen Robert Mueller on TV. I, for one, still haven’t read his report. But I have been thinking about Attorney General Bill Barr’s argument that Trump couldn’t have obstructed justice because there was no underlying crime, or at least not enough evidence of an underlying crime.

I’ve tried to think of a simple example to explain this to myself (keep in mind, I’m not a lawyer, so I have about as much insight into these matters as Rudy Giuliani does.) Here’s the hypothetical I came up with. 


Let's say the police in Bedford Falls have a confidential informant who knows that some guy, Brad, has 3 pounds of heroin under his bed. This CI (or "this rat", as Donald Trump would call him) tells the police, as confidential informants do. The police get a warrant to search Brad's apartment. Brad sees them coming, quickly bars his reinforced steel door, refuses to answer the police’s pounding on it, while his girlfriend, Beverly, flushes the heron down the toilet. Brad successfully prevents the cops from entering the apartment until all traces of the smack are gone. Whew, that was close! 

VoilĂ ! Brad did his damnedest to delay the police searching his apartment, but he didn’t “obstruct justice” because, at the end of the day, the police found no evidence of a crime. No evidence of a crime means no crime, means no justice to obstruct. Perfectly logical, I guess.

Tuesday, May 14, 2019

Gain, or Just Pain?


The Dow has dropped almost 1000 points (-3.6%) in the past week due to worries about Donald Trump’s trade war with China. To be fair, that’s not as bad as the 11% drop the market suffered on the eve of Trump’s government shutdown last December. But, the trading week is still young.

Anyway, it’s been fascinating to follow what some Trump supporters have been saying on Twitter and other media about this escalating war. Of course, Trump himself has said trade wars are good and easy to win, that his tariffs are forcing China to pay back billions of dollars that it has unfairly taken from America. The picture he paints is gain, with no pain.

At the same time, Trump critics -- and others who are not ignorant of economics -- have been happily pointing out that, in fact, it’s American companies or consumers who pay the costs of tariffs. Even Larry Kudlow, Trump’s TV economic adviser, had to admit something like this on Fox News over the weekend. And now I’ve been seeing some comments from Trump supporters pop up on Twitter conceding the point that Trump’s trade policies do hurt Americans, but that this pain is an acceptable cost of a trade war. As they see it, Trump voters -- for example Midwest dairy farmers -- are happy to sacrifice their livelihood, if that helps to punish China for its infringement of US intellectual property rights. It goes without saying that compulsory pain and sacrifice for the greater good is not what Trump promised them. Maybe Trump should have been more honest with them. But who are we kidding? They probably still love him anyway.

Make no mistake, the stealing of IP by China is a serious issue. And perhaps we should be grateful that Wisconsin dairy farmers are willing to risk losing family farms to put a stop to it. On the other hand, they are also being rewarded for their sacrifice with billions of taxpayer money, so that surely helps.

And as Senator Tom Cotton of Arkansas has reminded us, it’s not as if anyone is sacrificing their lives (yet) in this trade war, the way US soldiers do every day for the cause of...something...not sure what, exactly...but something anyway.

So, if anyone suffers a loss in the stock market (and I don’t mean just Wall Street types, but also the forgotten men and women of forgotten West Virginia), they shouldn’t take it too hard and just be happy that they’re doing their part in Trump's unstinting campaign to stick it to the Chinese and make them share America’s pain.